The flight attendant who made all the announcements on the plane was quite a character. I don't know if he only attends flights because his dreams of being a stand-up comedian were crushed, or if he just gets bored doing the announcements and assumes no one listens to them anyway, but here are some highlights from his pre-takeoff safety spiel:
- “If you are hot… I’d like to get your number. Oh, and you can turn on the overhead fan to cool off.”
- “For emergency evacuation procedures, look in the seatback, or ‘literature pocket,’ in front of you.”
- “In the case of a water landing, you can use the person next to you as a flotation device. If that doesn't work, I guess you could try the flotation device under your seat.”
- “…an oxygen mask will drop down in front of you; place it over your mouth and breathe normally. Good luck with that.”
- “If you’re traveling with a child or anyone who needs special assistance, you have our sympathy. Put your mask on first, then pick your favorite child and work down the line from there.”
- “What’s the difference between asparagus and boogers? Your kids don’t eat asparagus.”
And when we finally pulled up to the gate, during that awkward interval where you want to take off your seatbelt and start getting your stuff from the overhead bin but you aren't supposed to yet, he just said "Ready... ready... ready..." until the "fasten seatbelt" sign binged off, at which point he yelled "GO!"
It was an entertaining way to start our vacation, to say the least.
Were you flying Southwest? Because I've heard about half of those jokes on two different Southwest flights (different flight attendants). I think it's part of their schtick.
ReplyDeleteWe were! But we flew them back today, and the flight attendant was completely normal and boring...
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